


Love. Denial. Acceptance.

by Chaos_and_Roses



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Cussing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Older Sawada Tsunayoshi, Protective Sawada Tsunayoshi, Romance, Unrequited Love, Younger Reborn, lots of cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24189925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_and_Roses/pseuds/Chaos_and_Roses
Summary: Reborn and Tsuna have known each other for years. They've been best friends for years. Tsuna's hoped for something more for years. And yet, when it really came down to it, Tsuna would rather destroy any chance he ever had with Reborn and break his own heart than to see the teen in any unnecessary pain.So that's exactly what he did.
Relationships: Reborn/Sawada Tsunayoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 162





	Love. Denial. Acceptance.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my one-shot. Beware, there's excessive cursing in this fic. Also, KHR belongs to Amano Akira.

After Reborn’s parents died, everything changed.

He was 16 when it happened. He had no other family to speak of, so naturally, he immediately came to Tsuna. Who had, fortunately, just turned 18.

The brunet hadn’t minded. He _still_ didn’t mind Reborn staying with him. Nor did he mind providing for him and paying for everything until the raven went to college. They’d been best friends for forever, and Tsuna would do whatever it took to support him.

Which was not to say that Reborn hadn’t offered, because that was not at all the case. The kid had pestered him about getting a job for the better part of the first week before simply giving up. He knew Tsuna well enough to know the brunet was putting his foot down. That and his parents’ deaths had absolutely destroyed him.

It was strange for Tsuna to see him like that. Despite being the younger of the pair, Reborn always seemed to be more put together. Stronger. He never gave a shit about what other people thought of him. If he had a problem, he always found a way to solve it himself. And, you can bet your ass he never let anyone see him cry.

That’s why when Reborn showed up at Tsuna’s door at 2:00 in the morning, soaked to the bone from the pouring rain, sobbing, Tsuna panicked.

They passed in a car accident. Died on impact, according to the officer that had come to see them the following morning. Seeing as Reborn had no other family, and Tsuna’s own parents were ghosting him over in Italy, the brunet was promptly granted custody.

Reborn moved in immediately, his things followed by the end of the week. Despite everything that had happened, it was almost normal. Reborn snooping around his house at every hour of the day or night, Reborn making fun of Tsuna’s attempts to cook, Tsuna trying his best to ignore his painfully obvious feelings for the other. The only differences were the evident increase in cuddles and sob sessions.

By the end of the next week, the funeral had taken place. Both teens were required to return to school, and Tsuna received an unfortunate visit from a certain lawyer.

_The brunet sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He knew that he needed to focus, but his mind kept returning to Reborn._

_He’d tried to get the black-haired teen extra time away from school, had almost fought the principal over it actually. But Reborn had just smiled sadly at Tsuna and told him it wouldn’t be a problem, he was ready to go back anyways. He was lying. But Tsuna just let it go, the kid was struggling enough as it was, he didn’t need to add an argument to the list._

_Luckily, most everyone was gracious about the transition. Reborn’s teachers had easily agreed to lower the workload to avoid causing him more stress (even though the teen could do his homework in his sleep), and Tsuna’s own professors had been understanding about his absence._

_Which was yet another reason that he needed to focus. His Political Science professor had courteously allowed him to make up for the big ass test he missed, but Tsuna wouldn’t put it past him to fail him if he didn’t turn in his paper on time._

_That would be a nightmare and a half. He couldn’t afford to fail a class, not right now. He needed to pass every single one in his full course load or he wouldn’t be able to afford to put himself through college._

_The doorbell rang._

_Tsuna’s head perked up. He cursed himself for getting excited over another distraction._

_He stood and made his way over to the front door, peering through the peephole into the hallway of his apartment complex._

_There was a man outside. Tsuna frowned, he didn’t recognize him. He considered ignoring him but quickly dismissed the idea. What if it was related to Reborn?_

_He unlocked the door and cracked it open. The man met his eyes through the opening._

_“Can I help you?” The brunet asked as politely as possible._

_“Yes, I’m looking for a Sawada Tsunayoshi?”_

_Tsuna opened the door a little wider, enough so that he could lean against the doorframe._

_“That’s me. What can I do for you?”_

_The man gestured to the folder he was holding._

_“My name is Kawahira Itsu, I’m a lawyer. I’m here in regards to Sinclair Renato’s situation.”_

_Tsuna paused, “Maybe you should come in.”_

_He stepped aside, letting Kawahira into his apartment. The brunet turned back towards the kitchen, where he’d been working._

_“Would you like some tea? Or anything to eat or drink?”_

_“No, thank you,” Kawahira leveled him with a serious look, “If at all possible I’d like to finish this quickly. I believe it’ll be important to you that we sort this out before Sinclair gets home.”_

_Tsuna gestured for him to sit down, leaning against the counter across from him._

_“Alright, so… why are you here exactly?” He started uneasily._

_“It’s about Sinclair’s position financially.”_

_Tsuna furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? His parents were both very successful physicians. I was told they even had a very extensive college fund set up for him.”_

_Kawahira just sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment._

_“Yes. That was true. However, I’ve been informed that the situation has changed. They were both fired from their jobs several months ago. Malpractice and theft. They were both doing heavy drugs, stolen from the hospital, and became negligent towards their patients. They then proceeded to gamble away their savings and Sinclair’s college fund over the course of the following six months preceding their deaths. In doing so, they’ve accumulated a rather egregious debt that still hasn’t been paid.”_

_Tsuna stared at the lawyer, wide-eyed._

_“S-so… this– Um, wow. Sorry, this is just a lot to take in.”_

_Kawahira nodded, “I understand. I apologize for dumping everything on you all at once.”_

_“It’s okay. I just– It’s weird because I knew them for so long… not well, but they didn’t seem like the sort of people to ever do something like that.”_

_“Most people don’t.”_

_Tsuna released a pained laugh, “That’s true… You were right, earlier. I want to finish this before Reborn gets home. The debt?”_

_“Yes. Unfortunately, the people the money’s owed to aren’t backing off, despite the circumstances. They’re demanding that Sinclair pays it, but since you have custody, that obligation falls onto you. He’s your responsibility. Do you understand?”_

_Tsuna nodded jerkily, “Yes, I– I’m sure I’ll figure something out. How much is it?”_

_Kawahira’s lips thinned. He glanced at his watch then slid the manila folder from earlier across the counter._

_“All the information’s in there. That includes my work number if you have any questions. Thank you for your hospitality, but I should be going. Good luck.”_

_Tsuna didn’t take his eyes off the folder, even as the door slammed shut behind Kawahira. He didn’t want to open it, but he knew he should before Reborn got home. He swallowed, an ugly feeling welling up in his gut._

_Tsuna flipped open the folder, eyes searching for the total cost. When he found it his eyes fell shut, frustration bubbling up in his chest, and he let himself cry._

He’d quickly composed himself, fearful of Reborn coming home to his messy tears. Tsuna was older, and Reborn needed him. The high schooler didn’t need to know about what happened with his parents. He was distraught to have lost them, and Tsuna didn’t want him to discover the sort of people they’d turned into.

The raven-haired teen needed time to grieve, Tsuna could worry about paying his tuition and acquiring money for him to go to college. He wanted to be a doctor. Reborn could focus on his studies, and Tsuna would find a way to pay for them. This could work out.

With that in mind, the brunet called Tsuyoshi, the local sushi restaurant owner and the closest thing to a father figure Tsuna had. He was the one who always checked in on him after Tsuna’s parents took off to Italy when he was 15. The chef once explained to him that he had a son around Tsuna’s age who’d moved out to America with his wife to pursue baseball, which was why he’d initially approached the brunet.

They managed to work out a schedule by the end of the call. Tsuna already had a part-time job at a small book store, with the job Tsuyoshi had offered him he’d probably have almost enough to make their now monthly payments. This, although hopefully temporary, could work for now, until Tsuna got his degree and could get a full-time job.

Within the next few days, Tsuna got another part-time gig at a cafe. By the end of the week, a horrible combination of fear, guilt, and dread had begun to eat at him. 

He knew going into this that, should he choose to keep this a secret from Reborn and shoulder the burden himself, he’d barely get to see the raven-haired teen. He’d accepted that. But the look of anger and betrayal he’d been greeted with upon returning from his first late-night broke his heart.

Reborn stopped talking to him when Tsuna refused to tell him where he’d really been. He tried saying he was getting extra help for school, but Reborn hadn’t bought that for a moment. He simply clenched his jaw at the half-hearted lie and went to bed. 

Tsuna cried himself to sleep afterwards.

That was a year ago. It only got worse after that.

If Reborn felt betrayed then, he loathed Tsuna now. He couldn’t seem to even be in the same room as him anymore, which was all well and good considering Tsuna was never home anyway 

Still, it was a strange feeling. To go from best friends to this in what almost seemed like the blink of an eye left a bitter taste in Tsuna’s mouth. The now 17-year-old wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

It hurt knowing that Reborn would probably never think of Tsuna the same way. And what made it worse was that the brunet deserved it. He hadn’t been there for Reborn when the raven-haired teen needed him the most, and now he was paying the price.

It didn’t stop him from thinking of the highschooler practically every waking moment. It didn’t stop Reborn from being the one thing that motivated Tsuna to drag his exhausted body from bed every morning. Or the thing that got him through each and every one of his long shifts. That kept the smile, no matter how forced, on his face when all he wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry.

It certainly didn’t stop Tsuna from loving him. No matter how cold, how mean, how _cruel_ Reborn could be, Tsuna never stopped loving him. Never stopped wanting to hold him, or be held, and kiss all that anger and pain away.

And that’s how it would always be.

“–una!”

Tsuna’s eyes snapped up to Tsuyoshi’s concerned face. His eyes widened.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t– um, I zoned out for a second. Sorry, I–”

“Tsuna,” Tsuyoshi interrupted him, “It’s alright. I just got worried. You spaced out there for a second. Kinda felt bad leaving you like that.”

“Oh.” Tsuna paused unsure of how to answer that, “I was just thinking about… well, you know. Sorry, I really haven’t been able to focus on much of anything lately. I’ll get back to work.”

Tsuyoshi’s hand landed on Tsuna’s shoulder, stopping him. He smiled sympathetically.

“No need. Your shift’s over, and you’ve done more than enough. Go home.”

“But–”

“No, Tsuna. You need rest.” Tsuyoshi’s smile took on a teasing edge, “I’m pretty sure I can handle wiping down one table.”

Tsuna let out a small laugh.

“I’ll grab my stuff.”

The brunet quickly retrieved his coat and keys from the back room. He said goodnight to Tsuyoshi and slipped on his jacket as he stepped into the cold night.

His breath fogged as he made his way towards his apartment complex. It had gotten cold early this year. It was only November, but the weather forecast said to expect snow sometime today or tomorrow.

November.

Which meant it’d already been a month since Reborn’s birthday, and his. Neither of which he celebrated. The thought left him with an awful feeling of emptiness and the sting of tears under his eyelids.

He hadn’t missed Reborn’s birthday since he was 5 and Tsuna was 7. They’d celebrated theirs together every year after that one, until now. Not that it mattered anymore.

Plus, even if he had, by some miracle, managed to get off work and finish all his assignments, Reborn wouldn’t have wanted him there anyway.

His mere presence probably would have ruined the day for Reborn and his friends.

His friends. Tsuna paused for a moment. He was more than a little grateful to them. They were there for Reborn when Tsuna couldn’t be. And the brunet was relieved that Reborn had found a good group of people who managed to break down his walls. But that didn’t mean he didn’t envy them.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Tsuna went to punch in his code to the gate of the apartment complex when his phone rang.

Huffing in annoyance, Tsuna fished the device from his pocket and answered quickly, trying to stop his shivering.

“Hello?” He asked as he entered his code and stepped through the gate.

“Sawada.”

Tsuna paused.

“Mr. Kanzaki?”

Kanzaki Akemi was the owner of the cafe he’d started working at last year. He was a grouchy man in his late 40s, but respected dedicated employees and created a great working atmosphere.

“Sorry to bother you, I know it’s late.”

Tsuna allowed the gate to swing shut behind him, making his way towards his building.

“No, it’s alright. What can I do for you?”

There was a long sigh from the other line.

“God, I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

Tsuna froze in his tracks.

“Sir?”

“Look, Sawada, you’re the first I called after I got confirmation because I understand your situation.” Another sigh. “The store’s closing down. My wife got a job down in Tokyo, and I managed to find somewhere to rent down there to continue my business. With everything going on, shutting this shop down is really my only option. I’m sorry.”

Tsuna’s head spun. He managed to say he understood and to bid Mr. Kanzaki goodnight before hanging up.

Tsuna stared numbly at the ground. This couldn’t be happening. He was barely making each monthly payment as things were. How were they going to get by? What were they going to do?  
Tears blurred his vision. He pressed a hand against his mouth to muffle the sob that ripped through him.

He tried to take deep breaths, reasoning with himself. _I’m exhausted. My body feels heavy, and I’m tired. I need sleep. I can come up with something in the morning._

Tsuna forced himself to start walking again, not even trying to stop to tears. No matter how much logical sense those thoughts made they didn’t even make a dent in the storm of emotions swirling through him right now.

He cried harder as fear surfaced among the mess of feelings. Fear that this was all for nothing. That he’d ripped his own heart out and shattered it for no reason.

_What’s the point if I can’t help Reborn? What was all this for?_

He opened the door to the apartment in a haze, stumbling over to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“God, don’t tell me you're drunk.”

Tsuna stiffened, hand halfway to the glass cupboard. He let his arm fall.

“You don’t bother to show up for days on end, and then you come home drunk. I wish I could say I’m surprised.”

“I’m not,” Tsuna said quietly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Oh? In that case, I _am_ surprised. Congratulations, you’ve managed to be a fuck up in every way except one, you _aren’t_ an alcoholic. As far as I’m aware, anyway. Who knows what you’ve been doing to get away from me?”

_What?_

_Who knows what you’ve been doing to get away from me?_

_What?_

_Who knows what you’ve been doing to get away from me?_

Get _away_ from him? 

Get a-fucking- _way_ from him? 

_Who knows what you’ve been doing to get away from me?_

No. 

_No._

_What the hell?! I’ve been doing_ all _this for him, and he accuses me of trying to get_ away _from him?_

_**Get away from him?**_

“Is that what you think?” Tsuna asked breathlessly. 

_Who knows what you’ve been doing to get away from me?_

“What?” 

“Is that what you fucking think?” Tsuna shouted, whipping around. 

Shock flew across Reborn’s face, eyes widening at Tsuna’s outburst. 

“Is that what you think I’m fucking doing?! Huh? Getting away from you? You think I don’t _want_ to be _here_? With you? In the comfort of my own home? Watching movies and joking around? You think that I like not eating with you because I never make it home in time? You think I was happy about not being there for you when you needed me? Did you think I didn’t want to be at your side when you woke up crying because you had a nightmare? Well, I hate to break it to you, but I _did_ I wanted to fucking be there for you through anything and everything you were feeling. I wanted to be there to hold you until you fell asleep! And you know what? Every time I wasn’t, it felt like I was stabbing myself in the chest. Like I took my own heart out and trampled all over it. Every. Fucking. Time. And you accuse me of wanting to get away from you?!” Tsuna let out a bitter laugh, taking a step back. He couldn’t see. If he was upset before, he was absolutely hysterical now. “ _NO!_ Listen the fuck up Sinclair Renato, you don’t _get_ to think like that. Not after everything I’ve done! All I’ve ever done was _for_ you, because I _love_ you. So don’t fucking sit there and try to tell me _I don’t want to be around you!_ ” 

He ran. Past Reborn, out of the apartment, back down the street. He was choking on his broken cries and desperate lungfuls of air by the time he arrived back at Tsuyoshi’s. 

_How did things end up like this?_

___________________________________________________________________________

He woke to sunlight pressing up against his eyelids. Tsuna brought a hand up to rub his face groggily, wincing at how swollen his eyes were.

He opened them, glancing around in confusion. Then whimpered softly when everything from last night came back to him.

He let his eyes fall shut again, taking a deep breath. No matter how much he didn’t want to face the world, it was still out there, and unavoidable. Unfortunately.

He sat up, groaning. Tsuna glanced around, wondering what time it was. Surely Tsuyoshi would’ve woken him up if he had to work, right?

_No, he would not. He’s always talking about how I should sleep more._

Tsuna cursed, stumbling to his feet. He tripped into the hallway, and down the stairs.

“T-Tsuyoshi, what ti–”

“Relax.” A stern voice cut through his panicked stutter. Tsuna zeroed in on the restaurant owner cooking breakfast behind the counter. Tsuyoshi looked amused. “It snowed last night, quite a lot. After you fell asleep, Mrs. Ito called, informed me that the bookstore would be closing down today.”

Tsuna blinked. “Oh.”

Tsuyoshi snorted, “Sit down, son. And you may want to wipe the drool off your face.”

Tsuna blushed in embarrassment, quickly wiping away the saliva from his chin. He took a seat.

“You were pretty upset last night. Care to share?”

Tsuna sighed. “I, uh, got in a fight with Reborn. I wasn’t really thinking clearly ‘cause Mr. Kanzaki called to tell me about the cafe. Anyway, Reborn made some throwaway comment, and I just blew up. I don’t really remember what I said, but I’m pretty sure I managed to fit in an I love you somewhere in my meltdown.”

Tsuyoshi hummed thoughtfully, “It’s probably for the best. It was going to come out eventually, and you needed to speak your mind. But,” He turned to raise an eyebrow at the brunet, “You know there’s still a lot for you two to talk about.”

“I guess…” Tsuna said hesitantly, unsure of how to approach the idea of talking to Reborn again.

A harsh pounding at the door cut off of his train of thought. He looked at Tsuyoshi, baffled. The man just smiled and said, “Get that for me, would you?”

Tsuna raised an eyebrow at the strange tone, but stood nonetheless. He quickly made his way to the entrance and opened the door.

And came face to face with Reborn.

Tsuna froze.

Reborn did not. He lurched forward, slinging an arm around Tsuna’s waist and yanking him into a tight hug. Tsuna’s arms automatically wrapped around Reborn’s neck, fingers intertwining with his silky hair.

Tsuna tucked his head into the crook of Reborn’s neck, breathing him in.

After a few more moments Reborn spoke.

“I’m still mad, but I… I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. So I want to talk.”

Tsuna nodded, not moving from his spot, and not trusting himself to speak.

They remained in the same position for several minutes until Tsuna took a deep breath and pulled back. He studied Reborn’s tired face noting the dark circles under his eyes. Tsuna frowned in concern, raising both hands to cup Reborn’s face gently.

“You look exhausted. Did you get any sleep last night?”

Reborn snorted, grabbing Tsuna’s wrists delicately, but making no effort to move his hands.

“What do you think? Besides, you look worse than I do.”

They stared at each other for a few more moments, almost in disbelief.

“Breakfast is ready!”

Tsuna startled, turning towards the kitchen and retracting his hands.

“We’re coming,” He called back, then turning to look questioningly at Reborn.

“You’ll come eat, won’t you?” Tsuna asked worriedly, reaching for his hand. Reborn let him take it, rolling his eyes playfully.

“I ran around all night, I think the least you could do is feed me.”

The corner of Tsuna’s mouth twitched into a smile, as he adamantly ignored the flash of guilt that flooded through him. He turned towards the kitchen quickly.

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to be hungry.”

Tsuyoshi sent him a knowing smile, then opened his mouth and said, “I have errands to run. Please don’t burn the house down while I’m gone.”

Tsuna blinked at him.

“What about your breakfast?”

“I already ate before you woke up. I just had a feeling I should cook extra.”

Before Tsuna could comment on that the man was gone. The brunet shook his head exasperatedly and sat down.

Reborn sat down across from him.

The smile faded from his face, as he remembered what they had to talk about. Tsuna fixed his eyes on his plate but didn’t touch the food.

“You wanted to talk. What do you want to know?”

His question was met with silence. Tsuna furrowed his brow.

Warm fingers curled under his chin, tilting his head up to look back across the table. Reborn was frowning at him, but not angrily.

“Please,” The raven started, “Please look at me.”

Tsuna nodded, surprised.

“Ask me your questions.” The brunet commanded him gently, a bit breathless. Reborn allowed his hand to rest back against the table.

“Why? Why did you leave? Where have you been? That’s all I want to know for now.”

Tsuna hummed. “After I got custody of you, a lawyer visited me. He told me some things regarding your parents. Their last few months of life weren’t their best, and…” Tsuna sighed, “They managed to blow through all their savings. And… and your college fund. I have the folder still, I think you should read the full story. All the information is in there. I had to get three part-time jobs trying to pay off the debt, so I can make sure you can go to college.”

Tsuna glanced down, swallowing hard.

“I- I know you want to be a doctor… Or, I guess you did, I don’t know if you still do, but I wanted you to be able to do whatever you want to.”

A long silence stretched between them. Then, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Tsuna bit his lip, “You were so upset, I mean, your parents had just died. Some of the things in that file, they’re really horrible. Your entire world was falling apart and I didn’t want your image of them or your plans for the future to get destroyed too.”

Reborn reached across the table to encase Tsuna’s hands in his own. His thumbs caressed the backs of Tsuna’s skin gently.

“There’s one more thing I want to know.”

Tsuna forced himself to look up from the table and meet Reborn’s intense gaze.

“What is it?” His voice came out in a near whisper.

Reborn studied him intently before responding.

“What did you mean when you said you love me?”

Tsuna sucked in a deep breath, “I meant that I’m in love with you.”

Reborn smirked, “Good. I was counting on it.”

The raven released Tsuna’s hands and walked around the table. He cupped his face tenderly, thumb stroking his cheek for a moment before he leaned in and kissed him.

Tsuna made a small noise of surprise at the contact but didn’t pull away. He reached forward to grasp the front of Reborn’s shirt, shifting closer.

They parted after a long moment.

“I’m in love with you too,” Reborn said quietly, holding eye contact.

Tsuna pulled him back down for another kiss. Reborn’s hands fell from Tsuna’s face to his shoulders then slid down to wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, practically in his lap.

Tsuna made a small noise of contentment at the proximity, nibbling on Reborn's lower lip as he wrapped his arms around the raven’s neck.

They’re lips parted, but they didn’t move. They studied each other, then leaned their foreheads together gently.

“Be my boyfriend?” Reborn asked playfully.

Tsuna grinned “Only if you’ll be mine.”

Reborn snorted in amusement, leaning forward to kiss him yet again.

“Always. Now come on, boyfriend, eat your food so we can go play in the snow.”


End file.
